It was 2 years ago. But I can still remember the exact same words you said to me that night. I remember every damn word you said.
Will you be my girlfriend?
I looked at you straight in the eye.
Are you sure? There’s no turning back once I say yes.
Then you said, Yes I’m sure. I love you.
And I said Yes.
Look at where we are now. I told you there’s no turning back. And you agreed. You told me before that if we are to have a child, you won’t leave me and you’ll take the responsibility. Now we have a five month old child and you just abandoned us. You abandoned him. Why is it that time changed everything? Even You?
I’ve been hurt so many times by just one person. The person I loved and trusted the most. The only person I never imagined ever, to abandon me. The one who made me so happy before. And I never expected that he’d be able to hurt me. I still can’t figure out how easy it was for him to just leave me like this. I never expected that losing him would hurt so much that I forgot how to live. I cannot focus on my job, I can’t focus on anything. I forgot how to be happy, how to smile, how to get along with people, with my friends. I forgot how to take care of myself. I’ve been having health issues lately. I almost got hospitalized and he didn’t even gave a damn. I forgot who I am. I don’t know how to be myself again. I’m not perfect. I have flaws. I made mistakes as well. But what I’m going through right now is just really tearing me into pieces. I forgot everything and I’m sorry but I was so damn inlove with this person and I was so damn happy that I can’t handle this pain and sadness. I don’t know how to be okay, or if I’ll be okay. I don’t even know myself anymore. Unfortunately, I’m so lost and I don’t know where or how to find myself. I’m so broken and I don’t know how to be myself again. I didn’t just lose him, I lost myself too. So please tell me, how?